Vanessa - south africa

Everything started with a simple response to a story on IG. Not thinking anyone will ever reach out. When Carrissa asked me if she could be praying for me, I didn't really know how to respond... All I wanted to do was feel again. Every week she checked in and talked about the Lord. How he loves me and how worthy I am.
For almost my whole life I have been struggling with depression, self-harm, and suicide attempts. I did not think that I would ever be happy again. I have never felt worthy, loved, enough or even good enough for God to even use me. I didn't know God. I knew about Him but I didn't have a relationship with Him. The day I chose to choose Jesus as my Lord and savior, everything changed...maybe not around me but inside of me. I just felt this unexplainable peace.
The way I looked at life and my circumstances changed. I wanted to be like Jesus in every storm. I started to do more research to know God's character. And with all this said; I still get days where I feel depressed, suicidal ect. But the difference is that I don't allow it to define who I am. Nobody said that when you chose Jesus, all of your problems will disappear, but that you will have someone(Jesus) holding your hand throughout the journey. Every day I still need to remind myself who God says I am. The journey might not get easier but your faith grows, and that makes it so worth it to walk through the fire. Holding on to Jesus is the only thing I could do.

Carrissa helped me find Jesus....